Wunderbar!

Before you read on,


1) This was one of the best chats I have enjoyed till date!


2) Keeping my vow of no names, I have renamed the person X.


3) But lets see if anyone can figure out who this person is!(apart from the one concerned of course)




me
howdie!

June 19 X
awesome !­ ­
u @ iit?­ ­

June 19 me
nope
rite now at home

June 19 X
oh­ ­

June 19 me
and blissful
so,

June 19 X
do you realize i'm jealous­ ­
:P­ ­

June 19 me
whats up?
jealous of the bliss?
dont be

June 19 X
trynna read atlas shrugged ;D­ ­

June 19 X
well, happy bliss-bath
catch you later, yeah!!­ ­

June 19 me
yeah well
okay
good night

June 19 X
i mean, you went offline ... how can u still be replying ... zombieeeeeee!­ ­
:P­ ­

June 19 me
oye

June 19 me
u were the one who went offline
i sent u about 10 pings


June 19 X
YOU DIDNT!
bad connection , huh­ ­

June 19 me
maybe. it doesnt show in my msg box
sob sob
damn!
so still in iit?

June 19 X
yes :-/­ ­

June 19 me
noice
watching movies i guess

June 19 X
but it's awesome mausam today .. so not so
:D­ ­

June 19 X
not really­ ­
i think atlas shrugged is a book, whatsay? :P­ ­

June 19 me
oh yes. atlas shrugged.
forgot. u know, short term memory loss
who are u again?:P

June 19 X
oh, marilyn monroe, ever heard? :P­ ­

June 19 me
oh yes yes!!! the skirt girl?

i think i might know where kennedy is

June 19 X
lol ... fwd fwd in time .. i still hate that bastard :P­ ­

June 19 me
really? did u kill him:


June 19 X
did i?­ ­

June 19 X
did i tell you, i have short term memory loss, too
who am i again? :P­ ­

June 19 me
did u?
wait. thats my line!!

June 19 X
how dare you remember?
you said you had memory loss, you liar ! ­ ­

June 19 me
i said short term
we are treading into past right now
(and i have marker to write on my body too>:P

June 19 X
lol­ ­
so, i stole your line alright, just don't sue me, ni to i'll join the anshan league B-)­ ­

June 19 me
(anshan with only pizza allowed)?

June 19 X
awww... that's unfair !!
how'd you know ... now, tell me, pizza a day wouldn't dilute the impact, right?­ ­

June 19 me
nope. it would keep u concentrated:P

June 19 X
but you wouldn't sue me, you promised .. check that left arm of yours ...oh .. can't read ur own handwriting, need help?­ ­

June 19 me
nah... i got a stencil:P
okay now tell me one thing?
read the godfather?

June 19 X
na :-/­ ­
you did?­ ­

June 19 me
*REALLY*????!!!
*REALLY????!!!*

June 19 X
don't now embarrass me ­ ­
i know­ ­
:(­ ­
i mean, make me feel embarrassed :P­ ­

June 19 me
u do like strategic killing of people, right?

June 19 X
but how'd you know ..!!!!
you're not from ISI, are you? :P­ ­

June 19 me
nope mafia
before u do anything else, read the godfather!!!
(it might bring my mafia in good light)

June 19 X
sure ! send me a copy, mr. enthusiastic :P­ ­

June 19 me
ebook?

June 19 X
hard copy would be so better, but for now , e book would do :P­ ­
ni rehne de­ ­
i'll get the hard copy­ ­
:)­ ­

June 19 me
cool. i was going to ask u to watch the sopranos too
but lets leave that for later

June 19 X
god !
i have such a huge list of go-watch-NOW and go-read-NOW just to be able to show my face to some ppl :P­ ­

June 19 me
well, u must prefer chatting then:P

June 19 X
u got it RIGHT, yet again, and disappointed me :P­ ­

June 19 me
always a pleasure
chal... see ya later




Post Publishing edit: And one more declaration: X is obviously another author of the chat. I Shouldn't have had to write this down!

I refuse to fail

It remains my struggle
To keep my wishes afloat,
A fight all day,
in a lane remote,
Where I paint my dreams
and believe them true,
unknowing, unaware,
of the hills I drew.
But dream I do
and the fight continues
I want them fulfilled,
Unreal though they seem,
my wishes, my dreams,
now are me,
and imbibed in my esteem.
And I refuse to fail
Whatever the fall
Will fight till I last
Till I lose it all!

Brought up to lead
To climb to succeed
Never did I fathom
A fall so deep
Disillusioned, defeated
And wounded I lay
On the grave of my dreams
My soul decays

I cant see them broken,
But helpless I lie
As sorrow and anger
Slowly makes me cry
This anguish I can’t bear
And warily I hear
My spirit sailing away
As helpless I lay

Days I try, to start afresh
To drown the sorrow
And look ahead
And march right up
With the passion, the zeal
But the agony of failure
Won’t let the wounds heal

Now the dream is shaken
and the will is broken
But with each sunrise
Slowly the time flies
And I see the light
Atop the hills
It flushes my veins
And kills the pains
And grows the will
To start again!

Hope is the light
Which guides me ahead
And persist I to move
Till my will approves
With the light alive
My strength revives,
Might to no avail,
But still
I refuse to fail.

My metro family!

Welcome aboard the Delhi metro!

Who says strangers can't be family? All it needs for them to bond, is one drunken commuter. The moment I boarded the Blue line train at Kirti Nagar, I knew it would be a fun ride. After a few minutes, the bonding had ended. And the conversations began. And it was all because of our drunken chowkidar( it was my metro family, you see), who was sitting supporting himself on his left hand, with saliva constantly dripping and cleaning off the mud on his right. He must have fallen off on road before. But that never perturbed my younger brother. The way he was pointing and chuckling, I was afraid chowkidar would wake up. But my Chachu held him down, and he controlled his chuckles. Dadaji was eyeing him with such perseverance and effort, despite what I gauged was a definite lack of vision and a constant itch in his long white beard, he might have forgotten his station in his avid concentration. But he didn't. And when he deboarded, Bhabhi entered. I respectfully offered her my seat. So did my younger brother. She obliged him. I remained standing. And then in a slowly dwindling panache, she asked the chowkidar, "Kya bhaiya, jyada pi li kya aaj?" Then she looked at Chachu, and obviously got the message. She restrained herself from taking this talk further. But the (entertainment for me)/(torture for those not deboarding at next station) had started. Everyone joined in the laughter, the advices started, and the coherence of all the laughs and the sneering was mesmerizing. The chowkidar had his own gibberish telltale, and before it could get any boring, I got out. I think Bhabhi also changed cabins there. So only Chachu and my younger brother were left to enjoy the show.

What a pity!

It is strange how the world behaves. In my commute from Peeragarhi to HauzKhas, I change metro twice. And in the three trains, only once did such a cabin exist, bounded by the mutual hatred and disgust of the drunkard, and collective sympathy for the ones suffering from his malodorous aura. A common enemy units us all. Nothing else matters then. No Khan(Dadaji), no Pundit( Chachaji), no north, no south(Bhabhi). In an empty space inside our head, we need somenone to hate. Lets keep that space filled. But fill that space judiciously.

The man who started it all!

BOL is one movie, which can force you to leave judgement aside, and let yourself drive in emotions. I do want to write about the movie, but not just now. Right now, I am still too perturbed and susceptible to overstate. I would write about it, but in a sober state. Let me bathe in its beauty till then.

Taxi Driver, 1976

All this shit about corruption that is going on, isn't it all a part of us? Isn't it true that we actually do live in hell, speaking nothing of the wrong but pretending to be in tune with the right? How many of us have asked the young waiter at the dhabas en route to the mountains, if he goes to school? And tried to help him enroll? Even forget the enrolling part, it is too big, how many of us asked his employer of his age and schooling?

We really are dirty and rotten inside. If you think different, look at your eyeballs in the mirror. I saw a man snatching at a lady's necklace once. I just hid away from sight. I was 15 then.

I am still hiding.

The thought did occur to me, of buying a gun and going on a rampage, killing all those heartless creatures out who would succumb to anything and continue living in their hole. It was not a gun actually, it was a sword. But what's the difference, it was illogical. It vanished as it came. The best I thought I could do was ask for the poor waiter's schooling, and maybe convince the employer.

I still don't have the strength to do that. I am still gathering the courage.

This is a confession. Something I want to remember long ahead. I have shirked away from being a good person. A moral person. And I still don't know how to change that. I feel disgust and revulsion at myself. Yet I know I would continue to live like this. With no questions asked. Just like everyone else, and pretend its all in tune with the right.

Movie Mania

Now that's two movies in two days. And good movies in fact. Contrary to my previous post, I do intend to watch more in the coming days. I do realize the timing is not apt, with the minors approaching, assignments getting piled up, but some movies have a certain essence to them. And they are sometimes worth the risk.

City of God was a good movie. Not one to be watched alone, but the entire story drew no comparison with what I have grown with. Perhaps this is precisely the reason why I couldnt find more meaning and charm in it. But for an entertainer, it sure beats many others! The way the story was structured, the daunting introduction of characters, the anticipation it all builds up, the movie was a sure shot dollar bill.

Did you realize that everyone Rocket meets in his life, inevitably ends up dying, with the exception of Angelica perhaps, whose fate I couldn't gather. Point to ponder.....

The movie I saw today was Being There. If you think you are knowledgeable, think again. Nothing is what it seems like. Getting serious? Don't. It is a prodigious satire on our common social laws. To be confined by the fear of unknown, and what could happen if someone had that fear removed from him. Such a peaceful movie.

Chauncy Gardiner, well acted.

Downloading The Graduate right now. I've seen Tootsie, and am already a fan of Dustin Hoffman. Lets see the magic he has conjured in these 700MB.

Good night!

PS: Was supposed to complete Digital Electronics today. After this movie perhaps :)

This is it. No more procrastinating things.
1) Wanted to exercise daily, but it always starts from the next day.
2) Wanted to start studying, but it always starts after the sleep.
3) Wanted to start waking up early, but I always convince myself 5 more minutes won't hurt
4) Wanted to start the lab reports. They always start after the movie.
5) Wanted to write a blog post daily. Reactivated facebook instead
6) Wanted to plan my week. Have to plan the planning first!

-> Still have to start writing my resume.
-> Still have to complete my story.
-> Still have to buy the subject books
-> Still have to start learning Spanish :(
-> Still have to wake up early.

I despise myself!