Bohemian Torture

Before you dare to listen to this audio clip, I have two facts to state.

1) I always sang in my room with headphones on and doors closed. Doors closed because someone always barged in to shut me up!

2) I am a devotee of the Bohemian Rhapsody!! I started to look for a word to describe this song, and the best I can come up till now is: prodigious! There is no song better than the Bohemian Rhapsody, no song compares to the Bohemian Rhapsody, and no song can even dream of matching the Bohemian Rhapsody!!

If you have never heard of this song before, DONOT CLICK ON THIS LINK. You will never forgive me or yourself

I now know the torture my friends go through. But my intention is not to relent.

It is for the world to suffer!!!!!

HEHAHAHAHAHA HEHAHAHAHAHA

When every crossroad is an adventure...

Ever had trouble with directions? Not the kind where you don't understand where right is, and go the wrong way, but the one where you don't know that right is the wrong way! Picture this scenario, you have been living in a neighbourhood for the past thirteen years, you recently went on a trip with your parents, let’s say to Goa (I love that place!! The beaches, the sunsets, the gentle breeze that blows, the churches, everything!) And you are the first to get down from the bus when you reach your street. A normal person would start walking towards his home, and let the parents follow you! But not for me. By the time I started to figure out which way our house was, my parents had gotten down and had given me the clue (and a scorn too, for not remembering the direction, but I ignored that) to where we lived.

This is one of the few memories that I remember of my childhood. My excuse then was that it was very early in the morning, I had just woken up, and it was very dark! But the memory still stayed. It’s funny how small things remain etched to your mind, only to be revealed at odd times, when you think you have outgrown yourself (and your memories). On a fun evening today with my friends (Kung-fu panda, and roaming in CP!! And the movie was AWESOME), this memory hit me, and faded. I must tell you that this was perhaps my first visit to the Connaught Place! Strange isn't it? Living in Delhi, and not going to CP once in two years? Well, roaming wasn't my thing ever. So when I confronted the giant square, with roads leading in every direction I saw, a big central park in between, after a few rounds of the place I forgot where I came from and where I was heading. Of course the recurring Metro Station kept telling me I have been here before. But to find the metro, I might have ended up going round the park full circle, instead of just turning back and seeing it right ahead!

I have always had problems remembering directions, unless it is a straight road full of landmarks. That of course hasn't stopped me from wandering about. It did allow me to be lost more than often, and find my way back (more through trial and error, and less through wits). My father used to tell me of the time when my Grand-father hired a taxi, and went touring all temples of India. His taxi meter later read 15,000 kms. And I have inherited the blood, but with the small flaw of directionlessness. First time I came to Punjabi Bagh, me and my friends tried to explore a shortcut that would take us to the next bus stop. Needless to say, I followed route, and we found the bus stop. I didn’t feel very good about it. I suppose it was only after that that I started noting the small turns the auto takes when I travel, the routes at the forks, the curves of the ring road, and how it is better to go to ISBT from Peera Garhi through the NH10 and not the outer ring road. But all the laughing and teasing and ramblings with friends threw me off guard today. And though I admit I didn't expect this after so much hard work, anyhow, I did enjoy it!

It is actually a great feeling to be lost. Our friend Mr. Perfect will not understand this, nor will the guy who runs scared of kidnappers. But to not know where you have to go (and have some money in your pocket); your adventure has begun my friend. Take the subway, walk in the random direction, ask the complete stranger, take another wrong turn, follow a bus, till you nail the place down! And the next time you come here, you can proudly tell your friend, that you ate at that restaurant, this shop is costly, and that pastry is awesome! That is, only if next time, you do remember where the pastry shop is :)

Not so dirty Politics anymore..

I have a huge respect for the communists. Not the ones wielding guns, but the ones with pen in one hand and mic in other. In short, the Politicians. And it surprises me too, because I have hated politicians all my life. Growing up with the opposition constantly retching "weakening economy", "friends of the capitalists", "enemies of the state", "aam aadmi trahi-trahi kar chuka hai", you sincerely lose all hope of ever finding facts in a politician's speech. But ever since the UPA-1 govt was formed in Delhi, I have seen a completely different class of critics. They were precise, efficient, and took the masses with them. They wielded facts, idealist theories, and were learned. They wrote articles in newspaper editorials, listened to the others, and were eloquent speakers. They were the Left parties, who had ruled West Bengal for 34 years, who some now say ruined, and not ruled, Bengal for 34 years. But whatever the case be, they truly brought an honour code in the otherwise rotting Indian Political System.

The left parties function through their polit bureau. And what the polit bureau does is ensure that it remains a party and takes in opinions, rather than decisions. It was perhaps this scrounging for opinions that made the party accept Prakash Karat's idealism when Jyoti Basu was asked to be Prime Minister. And they definitely have a huge difference of opinion, with most of the world as of now, but they stick to it. And they glue them with facts, which is so unlike most other parties where the leadership is a single person/family with the thinking cap on! Who will argue with that? The decorum they bring to the post they hold is unprecedented in what I have seen in India! Compare them with the uneducated goons, who don't understand what parliament is, and roam about shouting slogans and hurling shoes and slaps. The ex-Chief Minister of Bengal, Mr Buddhadeb Bhattacharya, left office on the day the election results got out. And not only was the office, his official residence also got emptied on the day of the result itself. And it took a Mamta Banerje, who, as we know, doesn't hold assts worth more than 5 lacs, to overthrow this rule. And now her cavalcade moves along with the traffic, and she uses personal funds to decorate her office. If the Left's conduct doesn't promote ethics, what will? And all this happens in a country where the other politicians are minting millions. The Reddy brothers are still mining money, even if illegal, Yedurappa is still doing "immoral" but not "illegal" works, and the DMK is openly flouting election norms.I don't think I have ever heard of a communist party ever being accused of corruption! And more than often, we don't see any blame game in the party. For every loss, there is a person who ACCEPTS responsibility, for every fallout, a person accepts the moral obligation. Not just for his party, but because he has to! It is his conscience that makes him do so. I have strong respect for such people. It takes courage to accept loss. It takes courage to resign, to leave everything. And it takes a strong will to keep following the track You believe is right!! They may have a twisted notion of economics, I am not well-read enough to comment on that, but they certainly have played a huge role in bringing back my respect in politics!

Every other party in India can learn from them!

A chapter in the lives of Arun, Munna, and Shai..

I like one thing about staying in IIT during holidays. You get a lot of time to yourself. So while one of my friends made himself CAD car models, another one got busy completing NFS, and I started reading Marx. And getting bored (which was really obvious), I turned to Dhobi Ghat. The movie left me so incomplete, touching a chord and then leaving it twiddling, I felt cheated. So after a while, I started watching it again. And then once more, till I couldn’t hold Yasmin’s dead body, or all the broken hearts any longer. So I switched it off, and tried to distract myself. But Shai’s last tear kept coming to my head, and I couldn’t fool myself any more. I had to write this.

Just to spend some more time with them.

I just can’t find where to start from. From that innocent touching of fingers, when Shia showed her photographs, or Arun’s heartbreak at the third letter? Perhaps the best is which the director chose. From the three letters, so contrasting Arun’s life. Yasmin meets Arun, when he is a loner, and she is a colorful young woman. And Arun finds himself again, a completely different, considerate person. An innocent love starts to bubble in his misery, a love from beyond. He walks the space she had walked on, breathes the air she lived in. But he is not destined to be so lucky. The love story ends how it started, in the last letter. And he was left to collect the memoirs, the souvenirs, of the woman he loved, but couldn't know. I don’t think he ever let go of the locket. And I don’t think I want to know. It might decide things for Shai, and how that last tear of her finally gets to roll. Such a beautiful person, so full of hope, of courage, compassion. And she finds herself in that beautiful bond, that sacred worship, with the person she loves, on the very first night.. I am so glad she got the address in the end. Even if it meant the end of the world for Munna. He did love her dearly, and it was pure. But all that was left with him was he memories, and the hope, that she would be happy where he sent her. And the job, which I hope he got. And for Arun too, I hope it turns out a new leaf in his book, for him and for Shai. And for Munna.

For them, I hope it does finish well…..

My experiments with bird watching

Reading the title one can very easily understand that I am no fan of Gandhi. So I don’t have any revocations about using Gandhi’s only book and modifying the title to such a level. Also, for a few innocent species let me clarify that birds don’t refer to the class aves either. Meaning of ‘birds’ can only be understood by someone who has spent two years of his precious teenage reading Heisenburg’s Principle and Schrodinger’s equation. If someone still doesn’t understand it refers to the clan of girls.

Being in IIT is a great feeling (at least for the first month or so). But coming to a metro is another things that really gets the guys from far off excited enough. On my first day when I was going for registration towards IIT Delhi, located in a strangely called area “Hauz Khaz”, I saw the first memorable “bird-sight” in almost two years. It wasn’t like girls were absent in my city or they weren’t visible, I just never gave a damn about them (May be they didn’t try enough so that I get induced to at least give a damn).

But what studies can make you miss, you don’t realize until you miss the studies. (Isn’t this the same all of them say about love??? I guess it’s common with any intense feeling). Later in the next few days, I came across a lot of members from the clan, a few of them were recognized easily while a few forced me to take another look. I was happy to glare at them, turn back if they pass me by in the opposite direction or just sit somewhere still wearing my black sunglasses (they don’t really let anyone know where you are staring).

It was going on and on until a couple of days when I was on an auto rickshaw, and a girl with the mazimal amount of minimality passed by. I did not notice as I was listening to the Evanescence Song –“My Immortal” (It happens so very often that this song has become one of my all time favorites). Anyways…. Where was I??? yeah… then I saw the auto wale ‘bhaiya’ take his neck out of the auto and stared that ‘girl’ . Even I glanced at the bhaiya’s glance but then started looking straight. He tried to match the speed of the Black Honda Civic she was sitting in but his delight was limited to the blinking seconds on the red light.

Bhaiya stayed silent for a moment and he somewhere knew what I might be thinking. Then he asked – “ Naye ho kya delhi me? ” . I was surprised and said – “haan, abhi college join kiya hai…” Then he told me that “ Aji, tank me gas dekhne ke bahane mud ke neeche dekh lete hain…. Kisi ko ab kya pata chalta hai” and he added-“Delhi me reh ke in nazaaron ka mazza nahin liya to kya kiya?” which translates to –“ You have done nothing if you have missed the pleasure of these sights” . In a way I thought the same about Delhi but I was not interested in sights alone. I wanted someone close may be, but the words of that bhaiya made me go into deep introspection. I was in a dilemma. Have I become a pervert? Or am I the wanna be cassanova? Who am I? Is this what the decent guys are supposed to do? The thought remained with me the whole night. That day I proudly proclaimed that this is the very obvious thing to do for a tortured-self-deprived-introvert to do (I am referring to what I became during those two years), and forgave myself. Then I started making resolutions..

Making resolutions is never difficult but keeping them is (If I go on and draw the probability curve for the resolutions on the x axis and the success as a binary number on y axis, I see the graph is a constant y= 0 with negligible dots at y=1) but anyways, we always are taught to start afresh and forget what we did. Next day was a real test- A group of girls with a light reflection from the purple and the blue sides of spectrum and definitely a bright reflection of the ‘skin’ color (Dont worry, I didnt break my resolution, my friend told me all this) were at some 20 meters or so and were moving closer and closer. I was like walking with my head down and as the distance became smaller and smaller, I could not resist it so I had to close my eyes and stay there till I heard some feminine voices walk by and laugh and ultimately the sounds faded away. (This was the most practical application of Doppler’s Effect I ever encountered in my life).

I realized after two weeks that I have overcome my tendencies and need not look down or close my eyes to ignore those ‘nazaares’. I was happy because now I realized staring at something doesn’t make you get it , it just makes you repent that you just stared. I am not yet brave enough to go beyond gazing with my eyes wide open and talking to those angels walking on earth who would be perfect for anyone to be with all night long (For the people I can now safely call perverts, I am talking here about dreams) .

I feel better now cause I am a person with high morals and that is what counts. But I have realized that high morales don’t really help one achieve a high reputation. So all my friends started passing a common comment – “koi na Rohan …samajh gaye hum…. Ab to sab legal hai … chill mar!!!” But it turned out to be a week's euphoria among them and they turned normal in a week..

I did with birds what Gandhi did with truth …. Whether anyone likes it or not …

A Travesty

Fifteen years have passed, but I still get that feeling. That feeling of anxiety, of nervousness. That shifting of legs, that speechlessness. I try to overcome, to just say as I wanted to say, to express myself the best, but I still fail today.

Fifteen years have passed, since I first held you. I still cannot forget the sweaty hands, that slippery touch. I still remember that rustle , that beating of hearts, that blank mind. Every time I hold you, oh, how you arouse my spirits. I try to be perfect; I plan days ahead for our
short dates. Even though you mock me, you tease me, (and you never realised how you harm my self esteem!), I still value my time with you. So much that every second the close comes nearer, I whine. I cry. The feeling of lose, that of shame, of self-disgust. I don’t know when it will leave me. I wish to conquer your arrogance, crush your ego. I wish to trample upon your self-esteem, so I could at last get hold of you. But I never could. Not in the countless times I met you. Never in your face, never behind your back. I know I tried, but you still evade me.

Fifteen Years have passed, since I first joined school. Fifteen years have passed since I first gave exams. But they still mock me. In my face.

Fifteen years have passed. So have countless exams. But I still hate them...

A Beautiful Heart

An angel a marvel a soul divine
A messenger of happiness,
My eternal sunshine.
I glow with pride, I shimmer with joy
I am luckiest alive, come listen ahoy!
She takes the toil but makes me smile,
My guardian spirit, my guiding line,
So magical, so smart, such beauty such grace,
Wondering I look and see god in her face.
Harbinger of happiness, so serene and so calm
I don’t have no words how to thank you oh mom!
For caring for laughing, those moments of love
The selfless dedication, your hand up above
Not the best son I am and I know I admit,
i'm flawed i know but you never stopped to care
(thank you for being there when I had erred)
And you were so kind and i am so blessed
All I can do is thank you and thank you and thank you!