Turn a new leaf! Get a life!!!!

It's been three days now that I quit facebook, and I know how these days have passed. Not that I actually quit facebook, their sly policy of keeping safe everyone's network so they can return back keeps everyone on their feet. No. What I am talking about is a simple test of restrain. A restrain from telling your secrets to the world. Out loud. No bounds. And even if I think I "quit" I haven't been able to stop myself from posting my statuses. If not facebook, then twitter! I've tweeted lots in the last three days. Talk about restrain! :).

Leaving fb actually did good for me. And when I say "only I know how I passed these three days", I mean "how WELL I passed these three days." I've been catching up on my blog subscription, listening to a lot of better songs, and have watched three movies with such good critical reviews, they actually seemed intimidating before I actually got to watch them ( I had them in my laptop for over three months now). One was To kill a mocking bird, which it is a world known fact that its a marvelous movie. Other was One flew over the cuckoo's nest. Now it does seem to be a good movie per se, but as an adaptation of a book, I don't think it does justice to the book. (from what i've gathered, the book has a lot more than what the movie showed, for instance, Chief was a schizophrenic. That means a lot different from what the movie made me believe.) Of course, I am not one to judge, not untill I've read the book perhaps. And It might be a long time till then! Next on my list is Atlas Shrugged!! ( The name gives me chills!!)

Did I mention how much time I've gained off facebook? I think I did. And Oh, I also mentioned about the blogs. There is one specific that I really like. Its by an Army wife. Not the patriotic kind of blog, just a really fun filled, Murphy's law adhering piece on daily life! Its called 3 bedroom bungalow, and the link is: http://3bedroombungalow.blogspot.com/. Her recent posts have been really gripping. Going to Germany with no planning, then calling someone up from UK to pick you up and driving the way back there! Don't try it yourself, this stuff is just for reading :). And then there is the Delhiwala, which has such a good collection of pictures, you can gorge upon it as greedily as you like, it is entertaining as hell! The link is http://www.thedelhiwalla.com/, If you cannot get it from my subscriptions.

That is not all. I even completed a few assignments on time, got time to read on a few more lectures, and catch on with my academics. Its just that the stuff is really boring to write about, and you really don't wish to tell such things to people. It sounds weird!

To tell the truth, I even considered to do something on the like of the Julie-Julia project. Not with the cooking ofcourse, bit maybe with the songs, or with drumming, I don't know. I just spent too much time thinking about it, and then decided it was just me going overboard, so I left it. But it would have been nice to do something like that. Really nice.

So all in all, this whole things turned out pretty well for me. Next up on my to-do list is to complete a story I started long ago. Lets see how that works out!

Hallelujah!

Some songs really go through you, touching your heart, and then you feel the touch and the peace of them! I became a fan of Jeff Buckely after I heard Hallelujah, but recently when I heard the other versions of the song, I became his devotee! So much so that after I deleted my facebook account just to stop myself from using it (yeah, that is my declaration, I am trying to prevent myself from this addiction.), and twitter won't allow me to write what I feel in so many words, I drew a first in writing directly to my blog (earlier I used to write first in an editor, try to edit it, and then publish.)

Back to the song, I can't draw the same emotion that the song drew in me through mere words.
Just listen to this song, and you will know. If you are in IIT, better let the song stream first (you don't want the reduced bandwidth to ruin it for you)



Don't thank me yet. After you have heard this song (or by this time you might have even downloaded it) try out these other versions, by Leonard Cohen, the original lyricist of this soothing beauty.


And then there is another version which I Rufus Wainwright sang, and it came as the cover for Shrek soundtrack


Mirror mirror on the wall, which is the best of them all? Don't you love that Jeff Buckley actually sang this song? Or that he was born and decided to become a singer and got inspired from this vivacious piece of poetry? It is a wonder how he managed to create the perfect masterpiece. Cohen's version was still not deep enough, to go beneath just the mouthing of words. But oh! what they both have done together. Enjoy the bliss, this should be my cue to bid adieu. And parting off, I want to quote a comment on his video:
"dude when im on my death bed, this song better be playing"(sic)

Hats off to Leonard Cohen and Jeff Buckley. You've touched a soul! You've touched a million of 'em!

Love and Relationships

(Reference: European Journal of Social Psychology, Vol.27, 313-335(1997), Construct validation of a love scale, Robert J Sternberg)
Having experienced a dearth of topics to write on, I turned to a few psychology papers to read. And bingo! What a find. Something I have never touched before. Something I have never written on. Something which will ensure I develop my reader base, especially among the ladies.

The topic is actually a theory developed by an American Psychologist Robert Sternberg. Although the concept is still elusive to me, I decided to give it a shot. And that I completed the study, his research ensured!

Without much further ado, let me state to you the theory- The Triangular Law of Love!

Love, being complex as it is, has three essential elements in it. These elements ensure that a relationship you have will continue forward. They are: Intimacy, Passion and commitment. Sounds simple? Well, it is!

Intimacy is the closeness, that feeling of connectedness, the willingness to share secrets, bonding in a relationship. Passion is the drive towards your mate, that sexual, romantic urge!
And commitment, well it is THE BIG element! You aren’t in love unless you label it so! If you say it is love, it is, else not! This decision, and the decision to keep the status quo intact, is the third aspect of Love.

If I have been able to fool you that it is as simple as it sounds, you are mistaken my friend.
Now, the complexities shall arise.

1) What if you have just one of these feelings towards someone? That you just feel intimate, but never experienced a drive towards him/her? Or if it is just pure passion? Or an empty commitment, unsubstantiated by closeness or feelings? This is the first level of complexity!

What you are feeling, (don’t characterize it as love and start drooling!), if it is intimacy, is just Intimacy! One which you share with your best friend! Or your dog for that sake ! What you usually call liking! If it is passion, our daily terminology for it is attraction, or what some idiots call love at first sight! Sternberg called it Infatuation. And if it is just a willingness to continue the relationship, without closeness or sex, well, he may call it Empty Love, my diagnosis is you have either been married too long, or just had an arranged marriage! Or you are just plain stupid and are befooling yourself into believing that you are done, when actually you are done for!!

2) We move on to level two. Okay geniuses, how many permutations of two elements from three? Three! Well done!

What if it is Intimacy and Passion? You better commit too, because what you feel is romance towards your partner! And it is only up to you to label it now!
Feeling intimate and have committed? You have found yourself a companion!This my friend, is companionate love! Share as much as you like, apart from sex, you have everything!
Last my friend, is the love sans intimacy, Just the craze towards your other half and the drive to keep it going . It is fatuous love, or what happens in the beginning of a relationship these days. Don’t let it wear off, or you might fall into the Empty love category! Beware, for these are dangerous grounds you tread on..

3) Wondering what complexity level three is? This one is the apocalypse, Armageddon, or as Issac said in Friends s03e16-“ doesn’t matter how much we love ‘em, monogamy is too cruel a rule!” What if you feel all three towards more than one people? Is it possible?
Wait! You already do? Then either change your culture to a polygamist one, or prepare to die! Thy soul shall rot in hell, one of your partners is sure to curse you for life! Don’t blame me later, I warned you :P.

Of course, this is just a theory. I can’t say what the actual feeling is, it is supposed to be the strongest of all human emotions! And banking on the Harry potter saga, this is what separated Voldemort from Harry, the boy who could love, thus the boy who lived!

Whether you believe it, or not, is your own prerogative. All I am saying is, life definitely isn’t easy, if you are in Love ♥

Bohemian Torture

Before you dare to listen to this audio clip, I have two facts to state.

1) I always sang in my room with headphones on and doors closed. Doors closed because someone always barged in to shut me up!

2) I am a devotee of the Bohemian Rhapsody!! I started to look for a word to describe this song, and the best I can come up till now is: prodigious! There is no song better than the Bohemian Rhapsody, no song compares to the Bohemian Rhapsody, and no song can even dream of matching the Bohemian Rhapsody!!

If you have never heard of this song before, DONOT CLICK ON THIS LINK. You will never forgive me or yourself

I now know the torture my friends go through. But my intention is not to relent.

It is for the world to suffer!!!!!

HEHAHAHAHAHA HEHAHAHAHAHA

When every crossroad is an adventure...

Ever had trouble with directions? Not the kind where you don't understand where right is, and go the wrong way, but the one where you don't know that right is the wrong way! Picture this scenario, you have been living in a neighbourhood for the past thirteen years, you recently went on a trip with your parents, let’s say to Goa (I love that place!! The beaches, the sunsets, the gentle breeze that blows, the churches, everything!) And you are the first to get down from the bus when you reach your street. A normal person would start walking towards his home, and let the parents follow you! But not for me. By the time I started to figure out which way our house was, my parents had gotten down and had given me the clue (and a scorn too, for not remembering the direction, but I ignored that) to where we lived.

This is one of the few memories that I remember of my childhood. My excuse then was that it was very early in the morning, I had just woken up, and it was very dark! But the memory still stayed. It’s funny how small things remain etched to your mind, only to be revealed at odd times, when you think you have outgrown yourself (and your memories). On a fun evening today with my friends (Kung-fu panda, and roaming in CP!! And the movie was AWESOME), this memory hit me, and faded. I must tell you that this was perhaps my first visit to the Connaught Place! Strange isn't it? Living in Delhi, and not going to CP once in two years? Well, roaming wasn't my thing ever. So when I confronted the giant square, with roads leading in every direction I saw, a big central park in between, after a few rounds of the place I forgot where I came from and where I was heading. Of course the recurring Metro Station kept telling me I have been here before. But to find the metro, I might have ended up going round the park full circle, instead of just turning back and seeing it right ahead!

I have always had problems remembering directions, unless it is a straight road full of landmarks. That of course hasn't stopped me from wandering about. It did allow me to be lost more than often, and find my way back (more through trial and error, and less through wits). My father used to tell me of the time when my Grand-father hired a taxi, and went touring all temples of India. His taxi meter later read 15,000 kms. And I have inherited the blood, but with the small flaw of directionlessness. First time I came to Punjabi Bagh, me and my friends tried to explore a shortcut that would take us to the next bus stop. Needless to say, I followed route, and we found the bus stop. I didn’t feel very good about it. I suppose it was only after that that I started noting the small turns the auto takes when I travel, the routes at the forks, the curves of the ring road, and how it is better to go to ISBT from Peera Garhi through the NH10 and not the outer ring road. But all the laughing and teasing and ramblings with friends threw me off guard today. And though I admit I didn't expect this after so much hard work, anyhow, I did enjoy it!

It is actually a great feeling to be lost. Our friend Mr. Perfect will not understand this, nor will the guy who runs scared of kidnappers. But to not know where you have to go (and have some money in your pocket); your adventure has begun my friend. Take the subway, walk in the random direction, ask the complete stranger, take another wrong turn, follow a bus, till you nail the place down! And the next time you come here, you can proudly tell your friend, that you ate at that restaurant, this shop is costly, and that pastry is awesome! That is, only if next time, you do remember where the pastry shop is :)

Not so dirty Politics anymore..

I have a huge respect for the communists. Not the ones wielding guns, but the ones with pen in one hand and mic in other. In short, the Politicians. And it surprises me too, because I have hated politicians all my life. Growing up with the opposition constantly retching "weakening economy", "friends of the capitalists", "enemies of the state", "aam aadmi trahi-trahi kar chuka hai", you sincerely lose all hope of ever finding facts in a politician's speech. But ever since the UPA-1 govt was formed in Delhi, I have seen a completely different class of critics. They were precise, efficient, and took the masses with them. They wielded facts, idealist theories, and were learned. They wrote articles in newspaper editorials, listened to the others, and were eloquent speakers. They were the Left parties, who had ruled West Bengal for 34 years, who some now say ruined, and not ruled, Bengal for 34 years. But whatever the case be, they truly brought an honour code in the otherwise rotting Indian Political System.

The left parties function through their polit bureau. And what the polit bureau does is ensure that it remains a party and takes in opinions, rather than decisions. It was perhaps this scrounging for opinions that made the party accept Prakash Karat's idealism when Jyoti Basu was asked to be Prime Minister. And they definitely have a huge difference of opinion, with most of the world as of now, but they stick to it. And they glue them with facts, which is so unlike most other parties where the leadership is a single person/family with the thinking cap on! Who will argue with that? The decorum they bring to the post they hold is unprecedented in what I have seen in India! Compare them with the uneducated goons, who don't understand what parliament is, and roam about shouting slogans and hurling shoes and slaps. The ex-Chief Minister of Bengal, Mr Buddhadeb Bhattacharya, left office on the day the election results got out. And not only was the office, his official residence also got emptied on the day of the result itself. And it took a Mamta Banerje, who, as we know, doesn't hold assts worth more than 5 lacs, to overthrow this rule. And now her cavalcade moves along with the traffic, and she uses personal funds to decorate her office. If the Left's conduct doesn't promote ethics, what will? And all this happens in a country where the other politicians are minting millions. The Reddy brothers are still mining money, even if illegal, Yedurappa is still doing "immoral" but not "illegal" works, and the DMK is openly flouting election norms.I don't think I have ever heard of a communist party ever being accused of corruption! And more than often, we don't see any blame game in the party. For every loss, there is a person who ACCEPTS responsibility, for every fallout, a person accepts the moral obligation. Not just for his party, but because he has to! It is his conscience that makes him do so. I have strong respect for such people. It takes courage to accept loss. It takes courage to resign, to leave everything. And it takes a strong will to keep following the track You believe is right!! They may have a twisted notion of economics, I am not well-read enough to comment on that, but they certainly have played a huge role in bringing back my respect in politics!

Every other party in India can learn from them!

A chapter in the lives of Arun, Munna, and Shai..

I like one thing about staying in IIT during holidays. You get a lot of time to yourself. So while one of my friends made himself CAD car models, another one got busy completing NFS, and I started reading Marx. And getting bored (which was really obvious), I turned to Dhobi Ghat. The movie left me so incomplete, touching a chord and then leaving it twiddling, I felt cheated. So after a while, I started watching it again. And then once more, till I couldn’t hold Yasmin’s dead body, or all the broken hearts any longer. So I switched it off, and tried to distract myself. But Shai’s last tear kept coming to my head, and I couldn’t fool myself any more. I had to write this.

Just to spend some more time with them.

I just can’t find where to start from. From that innocent touching of fingers, when Shia showed her photographs, or Arun’s heartbreak at the third letter? Perhaps the best is which the director chose. From the three letters, so contrasting Arun’s life. Yasmin meets Arun, when he is a loner, and she is a colorful young woman. And Arun finds himself again, a completely different, considerate person. An innocent love starts to bubble in his misery, a love from beyond. He walks the space she had walked on, breathes the air she lived in. But he is not destined to be so lucky. The love story ends how it started, in the last letter. And he was left to collect the memoirs, the souvenirs, of the woman he loved, but couldn't know. I don’t think he ever let go of the locket. And I don’t think I want to know. It might decide things for Shai, and how that last tear of her finally gets to roll. Such a beautiful person, so full of hope, of courage, compassion. And she finds herself in that beautiful bond, that sacred worship, with the person she loves, on the very first night.. I am so glad she got the address in the end. Even if it meant the end of the world for Munna. He did love her dearly, and it was pure. But all that was left with him was he memories, and the hope, that she would be happy where he sent her. And the job, which I hope he got. And for Arun too, I hope it turns out a new leaf in his book, for him and for Shai. And for Munna.

For them, I hope it does finish well…..